Your Surrogate went for her embryo transfer. And now, you wait.
In TTC (Trying to Conceive) circles and online forums, this dead zone is called the 2WW (Two Week Wait). It’s like torture. All you can really do is, well, wait.
As a hopeful parent through surrogacy, the 2WW is especially difficult. You don’t have pregnancy symptoms to Google or sticks to pee on. You’re just stuck waiting, trying to not message your Surrogate every 20 minutes, trying to remain calm and trying to carry on with your life.
We’ve been there, and we have a few tips for helping you survive the 2WW between embryo transfer and beta testing.
Tip 1: Avoid Getting Caught in The Web.
The world wide web, that is. While technology is unavoidable and you likely can’t avoid the internet altogether for 2 weeks, stay away from online forums and Google searches that perpetuate obsession. While your first instinct when you feel anxious about whether or not your Surrogate is pregnant may be to post to your favorite support group on Facebook, we suggest you don’t.
Connect with your Surrogate and ensure she is well (without getting caught up in possible pregnancy symptoms), talk to your friends and family, or rely on your surrogacy consultant for support.
Tip 2: Distract yourself.
We recommend you have a plan for distracting yourself in advance. Have some exciting podcasts downloaded that don’t relate to pregnancy or parenting, buy a new book, make dates with friends. Have an action plan to ensure whether or not your surrogate is pregnant won’t be on your mind every second of the day.
Tip 3: Start a Journal.
Write about your experience of becoming a parent from the very beginning. How have you felt, what has the process been like, and how are your managing your excitement and fears. Keeping a record of your feelings throughout your journey to parenthood will become a treasured way to look back on your surrogacy journey.
Tip 5: Meditate.
Try meditation to help you cope with the stress of your two-week wait. You can even add in mantras like “I surrender to Higher Power’s (God, the Universe, etc) plan for me.” Or “I am doing everything I can to become a parent.”. Take some time out every day to just be aware of your breathing, and feel love and gratitude for your life, friends and family, Egg Donor, and Surrogate.
Tip 6: Engage in Physical Activity.
Even if hitting the gym isn’t your thing you can reduce anxiety and improve your health by being active. Go for a walk, take your dog to the dog park, jog, lift weights. You’ll be better prepared to chase a busy toddler in the future is you live an active lifestyle now.
Tip 7: Have Your Surrogate Save the Pregnancy Tests
Many Surrogate Mothers buy pregnancy tests in bulk and test every day (sometimes multiple times each day) after an embryo transfer. This can result in a lot of anxiety for her and you as the parent-to-be. It’s OK to ask your Surrogate to keep any results to herself until you have the results back from your beta.
Tip 8: Reach out to your surrogacy agency.
We know the two-week wait is one of the hardest parts of your surrogacy journey and we are here for you during this time. We can’t wait to celebrate your BFP (that’s Big Fat Positive for those of you who don’t frequent the forums) with you and your Surrogate!
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